Testing

We are being tested now. Kole will look at us and tell us "No" when we ask or tell him to do something. Then he will come over to us and stick his tongue out and make the noises he does to Kaci to annoy her. So, he has experienced the "You are not in charge here, we are". Which he didn't like very well. I think he might be getting it that we should only have to tell him once. Boyd has been helping his brother build a deck in Woodhull and the kids have been going with him. Today he has already left. We told Kole last night that he was going to be with me today. He crossed his arms smushed his face and said very clearly "NO!".... Guess what, he is with me today. I am putting the two youngest to work today to pick up their messes in their bedrooms and the rest of the house. It could easily take two days to do that . Boyd and I talked last night and I pointed out that playing with Kole is a good thing. Playing with Kole from the time he gets up until he goes to bed is a dis service to us all. He needs to be a part of the daily life here, not just to play. He needs to know the routines and things that are done.

Kali has been in Champaign with her Big Sib Jo since Thursday. I hope she is having a good time. We miss her so much. Both of us looked at each other Thursday night and felt, something is missing. We have grown used to having three children around and having even one gone is lonely. Especially Kali. She was our first daughter, adopted in 1997. She is a sweet sweet girl with a lot of talent that she hides behind a sweet shyness that can disappear in a heartbeat when she knows you. I hope she is full of chatter on the way home today. We pick her up at 11 in Atlanta, IL which is about 40 miles north of here.

Kaci has been Kaci. She decided to take Kole on a bike ride from our house to the neighbor's house. One property over, then the other way to the pastor's house. Kole thought he should head to the busy road, but Kaci stopped him and brought him back. It is amazing, he listens to the girls, but only partially listens to us. I think I know why.

We are gearing up for a birthday party in a couple weeks. Kali will be a big "10". It will be interesting to see if Kole picks up on what birthdays are about in the US. In China for his birthday , he didn't get it except he got chocolate cake!

We have had a week of ups and downs emotionally. Some days I think we are bonding really well, then Kole will take a turn and it is as if he hates us. I think it is his own internal battle with what his emotions are. He wants to belong, but if he does, then he feels he needs to give up what was. Sometimes I wish I could tell him and he could understand, that his past is part of his life and part of who he is and it shouldn't be taken away. And now he is with us and another chapter of his life has begun.

I have had wonderful conversations with several people that I feel very comfortable with. I have found out that what we are experiencing is all normal. They have been there for me to whine on their internet shoulders and spill my guts. If not for them, somedays I think we will go nuts trying to figure it all out. We never knew how hard it was going to be until we experienced it. Even after reading as many blogs as we did and reading conversations about the trials and tribulations of other families. Each is different. Each adoptions experience is different even within the same family each adoption is different. We continue to take it one day at a time.

O.k. now that I have been sooo deep... Kole's language skills are coming along very well. He still gets confused on some meanings, but I think he will do fine when he starts Pre-k and speech. He drops last sylables sometimes or ending sounds other times. We have worked out a plan to help him there without going overboard . He is really becoming interested in the words on a page in a book. So reading needs to be increased. I will need to do that one.

Kole's new aunt purchased him his first toy rifle. We were not going to be purchasing those for him, but he is better then he was. I don't think it will cause too many issues for him as an adult we had cap guns and we turned out o.k. (I think)

I think that is enough on updates this week. I will add more if I think of anything. No new pics this week. Bad us...